I’m sitting on a bench along a
narrow corridor located inside the maternity ward of a hospital. It is 3 A.M.
Melissa is sitting to my left. A very pregnant Emily is sitting to my right,
next to her most recent boyfriend, who has been exhibiting drug
addiction-related behaviors. We’ve been at the hospital all night. We are physically
and mentally exhausted. We’re emotionally drained. It feels like we have no
idea what we’re doing. And we have no idea how things are going to end.
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The work is complex. Our task is
relationship. From a position of rest.
We’ve meditated on this subject a
lot in the past two years. There are so many challenges in ministry; we touched
on this by demonstrating the complexity we face in various situations. With
each relationship, with each circumstance, with each problem and with each
solution, the pressures mount. We face physical, emotional, mental,
psychological, and spiritual highs and lows at each turn. And we face them in
community—in relationship.
And that relationship begins and
ends with how we relate to Him.
We are often asked by friends and
supporters how we do what we do. We
ask you, the reader, to consider this question as well. How do any of us do
what we do? How do we serve others, how do we speak life into situations, how
do we offer counsel or a listening ear—how do we diffuse the love and truth of
the Father to a broken world? And how do we do this when we know that we
ourselves struggle with the same brokenness?
In order to deal with this question,
we’ve found it best to ask ourselves another one: in who or what do we find rest? An honest inquiry will enable us to
see who or what it is that we lean on the most in order to deal with both our
own brokenness and with the brokenness of others.
In my own life I have tried to look
honestly at myself in order to answer this question. Do I draw from Him, or
from something or someone else? Is He my rest, or a mattress in a dark, cool
room? Is He my comfort, or air conditioning and an easy chair? Is He my
refreshment, or a cup of coffee or a hot shower? Is He my companion, or are my
wife and family and friends my chief sources of companionship? Is He my shelter
and stronghold, or do I depend on my intellect, background, privilege,
knowledge, and ability as a means of control?
Often a quick scan of such tangible
things reveals to me how much I have attempted to cope with my own brokenness: I
choose self-reliance, or I am reliant upon other people or things. Now, there’s
nothing necessarily wrong with these things—they are gifts from Him to me. But all
of us need to consider whether or not it is possible to put our trust in the
things that the Father gives more than in the Father himself.
Are we resting in our Father? That
is, are we consciously submitting every situation, relationship, dilemma,
project, task, and the like to Him? If we find ourselves troubled by the
pressures of daily life, not to mention the pressures of ministry, are we able
to surrender these pressures to Him? This is the question we must continually
ask. This is the question that will bring us to the submission that leads to
rest.
As we sat on that bench in those
early morning hours, my thoughts began to drift from the chaos we were
experiencing as Emily’s first baby was about to be born. I remember sitting
there wishing I was somewhere else. I remember trying to imagine ways of taking
away the discomfort I felt from being in a stuffy hospital room or of
decreasing the helplessness I felt as we watched the events of this birth
unfold. And then He showed up, right there on that hospital bench, and grace
washed over me as I recalled the goodness of my Creator, and the graciousness
of my Savior. I started to lift my thoughts to Him until I began to surrender
this particular situation to His will; and slowly but surely, the more I let go
of it, the more at rest I began to feel.
This rest was not physical or mental
or emotional; it was nothing conjured up by a mere exercising of the will. It was
simply the outworking of a command and a promise: “Come to me, you who labor
and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” “Submit yourself to Him, and He
will lift you up.” That night I found these words to be true.
The task given to you may be
complex. It may be difficult—even impossible. But the promise of His rest still
stands. And in surrendering everything to Him in faith, we will find ourselves
strengthened for the task; it will be in this moment that we will be ready to
see His hand work wonders.
-R
Thanks, Ry. This was for me
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