Entering the Third Trimester – There is grace for today!

I can definitely tell that I have entered the third trimester. I often find myself feeling fatigued, feeling bigger and feeling more emotional about things that I’m usually not emotional about. When I go to the girl’s center I feel the four flights of stairs and all the sitting up and down a lot more than I used to. I have always been one that loves to look back at the day and feel like I have accomplished a lot and these days I am having to give myself grace for the days that I feel like I don’t accomplish so much. I’m seeing that some days I’m being called to just be present.

At the girl’s center I cannot join in games where I am running around with the kids or lead a whole bunch of interactive songs, yet the staff are so sweet in telling me thank you for helping. When I tell them I feel like I didn’t do that much they tell me the girls just love having me come, and while I am there the little girls just love to sit beside me and hold my hand.

Ryan has been so awesome in helping with buying groceries and doing household tasks! I have still been driving my moped, but am doing so a lot Iess than I used to; very soon I plan to give that up all together. We will sell Ryan’s moto that he calls “humpty dumpty” because we are constantly putting it back together again and he will start driving mine. I’ll be taking the tuk tuk taxi, which will be safer, but feels like a bit of a loss of independence. Baby boy and I will be taking tuk tuks for the next year!

There are some days where my natural tendency is to feel like I didn’t send and reply to enough e-mails, meet enough students, plan all the meetings I needed to, read enough about preparing for becoming a parent, study Khmer enough, etc. and then I hear the Father whisper: Rest in me! I am enough for you every day and I am holding everything in place. I am reminded and know that this is so true. Just as he is knitting together this little boy in my womb the Father is at work birthing many things around me. As I stand in amazement at how the Father creates a life, I also see that the Father is doing work in those around me and I am privileged to watch. I get to be part of what he is doing, but in reality it is not dependent on all of my “doing”, but so much more on my “being” in him.

The days are sometimes full, but as I move from one activity to another I have the privilege of sharing life with locals and often have the opportunity to have conversations that I did nothing to set up. The Father has been so faithful in this season where I feel like I move sluggishly from one thing to the next. I would like to encourage you that if you feel like today feels a little out of control the Father is in control and is orchestrating his work all around you!

-Melissa