I suppose being a mom in Cambodia is in some ways the same as being a mom in the States; in other ways it is very different. Either way it is a big life adjustment and you have to learn a new life rhythm. Like many moms I don’t cross things off my to-do list quite as quickly as I used to and I carry twice as much stuff around when going out, yet there is grace in the midst of things and grace in the slowing down of accomplishing tasks (this is something I repeat to myself daily because I love being outwardly productive). These days there is more time for chats with neighbors or those at the grocery store and right now these are the conversations and relationships I’m called to.
Headed out
I spend a lot of time here.....
...... and here.
How has being a mom changed you?
Honestly it is too early to say, but I think it is changing something deep inside me. I think it has a way of stripping away things inside and helping you not be as selfish, since you have someone else to think of first.
What's most challenging about being a mom in Cambodia?
Transportation--hands down. It’s hard to get around with a sidekick here. I used to drive a moped, but as traffic is crazy here I don’t feel comfortable taking Oliver on the moped until he gets a little older. There is not an easy way to get around the city and not much organized public transportation. I ride a tuk tuk taxi with Oliver when I go out, but that leaves me completely dependent on someone else to be available to take me where I need to go. Some folks have cars, but that is not necessarily an easy option either, because the city is so dense it is hard to find a place to park your vehicle.
One thing that I know will be increasingly difficult as Oliver gets older is the lack of green spaces. There are very few good places for kids to play outside. Most places that do have small patches of grass have rules saying you can't walk on it. This is an area where I’m going to have to seek out some creative options. For example, you can rent a small soccer field for $7 an hour. Maybe my friends and I will have to rent a soccer field for our kids to have a field day or something.
What are advantages of being a mom in Cambodia?
No clothes, no shoes, no problem! I’m not saying I would feel judged in the States, but I hear a lot of foreign moms say that one thing that they love about raising their kids in Cambodia is that on some level anything goes. The 4 year old little boy across the street is outside his house naked on a daily basis and it doesn’t seem to phase anyone. I don’t have aspirations to just let everything go, but if my house is messy, my child runs around in a diaper, and I don’t follow the latest parenting trends it wouldn’t phase my neighbors one bit.
One thing that I’m looking forward to is that Oliver will be exposed to another culture and way of doing things. I think it is a great environment in which to foster conversations as a family. I hope he can develop a heart for peoples around the world and see the Church as something that crosses all cultural barriers.
What’s something folks might find unexpected about having a child in Cambodia?
My child is treated as if he were famous. Recently one of my neighbors asked if she could borrow Oliver for 10 mins to take him to her friend’s house so everyone could meet him. I politely declined and told her that her friends were welcome to come to our house to meet Oliver. When I go to restaurants and the grocery store the staff will often offer to hold Oliver while I shop or eat. Complete strangers will ask if they can take their picture with him when we go out.
Oliver usually really likes new people, but in this photo he had just about enough of all the selfies.
No one cares about taking photos with us anymore. ;)
-Melissa
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