A Cambodian Engagement

Recently two of our dear friends got engaged. Both of them work at HPC with Melissa. They had a traditional Khmer engagement, but they will have a wedding in the States.

In Cambodia an engagement party is pretty similar to a Cambodian wedding, with some minor differences. An engagement party might last a morning and the bride might change her dress twice. A wedding might last a whole day, sometimes longer, and the bride might change up to 12 times. A wedding would also include dancing with more of a reception whereas an engagement party would not. Both usually include a meal after the ceremony.

Usually weddings and engagement parties also have a lot of Buddhist traditions, often involving things such as ancestor worship and at least one monk would be present to help conduct the ceremony. Those who are believers will have a pastor come instead and it is quite a witness to the community.

Usually the ceremony would be conducted at the bride's house, but since in this instance the bride was from the U.S. they had the ceremony at the groom's house.

It all starts with the fruit walk. Everyone lines up behind the groom and his family to walk to the bride's house bearing gifts of food.

 

You walk in pairs to the wedding tent and you carry the same thing that the person beside you is carrying. Typically everyone receives a random platter that matches one other person, so then you have to go find your match. Then the two of you will walk together to the tent. Since we were a bit late, they gave us both a box of crackers to carry.

Whenever there is a wedding, engagement, or funeral you will see a big tent outside the family's house. It is perfectly alright to block the road even if it a busy one. You know if it is a wedding or funeral based upon the tent colors. A funeral will always have black and white material draped around it while a wedding will have lots of bright colors, usually lots of pink. Also, the wedding usually has more somber music and a monk chanting off and on over the microphone, unless it is time for the reception, in which case you'll hear a lot of karaoke music playing. For either event the music will be very loud and you will hear it long before you see it. 

 Then all the fruit is placed on the floor right inside the house. The ceremony takes place just inside the house while most of the guests sit in the tent outside. 

 There are lots of formalities and I'm not actually sure of everything that was going on as it was all in Khmer. I know there were greetings to the parents and during this part the groom gave the his fiance flowers. There is a tradition of "offering" the fruit gifts to the family, and the pastor (or monk) presides over the "exchange."

After the first ceremony the couple walked around and greeted everyone in the wedding tent. To formally greet someone in Cambodia you put you put your hands together and bow.

 Then came a new set of clothes, and it was time to exchange rings. They both looked awesome, but the outfits are actually quite involved and are often very hot, tight and uncomfortable.

We were so honored to be able to celebrate their special day with them!