Four Lessons from the Field, Part Two

LABORING THROUGH RELATIONSHIP

            Realizing that the work we are involved in is so multifaceted has caused us to come to each day and each situation with a stronger urge to learn and (hopefully) develop a greater posture of humility. But in the midst of seeing so much complexity we discovered another vital truth: though the work is intricate—at times calling us to unpack layer after layer of new information for understanding—the work is centered upon relationship. No matter what we are doing, this has always proven to be true.

            A year and a half ago we moved into a new building in a very Khmer part of town. At that point, our energy was really focused on our work at the NGO and the university, but gradually we were met with a wonderful surprise at home. Amid dozens of Cambodian families, all crammed along our little street, we rediscovered community.

            It probably started with a certain little girl named Sing who always enjoyed peering in our back window. Or maybe it was Dany, a college student living upstairs, when he began to take particular interest in visiting our home. Or maybe it started with Grandma, the elderly woman who sat by the gate downstairs, always ready to smile and talk.

            Through constant interaction with our Khmer neighbors, we began to see that our specific jobs and everyday tasks were not accurate depictions of the life we were called to live. We’ve come from a very task-oriented culture that excels in problem-solving. That’s why we began this series talking about complexity, because when we first got here, we started to notice problems at the surface-level, and our immediate reaction was to dive deeper and find the solution. But the more we realized how little we actually understood, the more we started to question whether or not being so task-driven was really beneficial. It certainly didn’t seem very practical.

            Then a little girl named Sing started walking in our open back door, wanting to play. Then Dany started asking us questions about what we believe. Then Grandma started opening up about her own life story. All of this just seemed to unfold, apart from any planning or programming on our part. It was as if the prayer we almost forgot—to be living witnesses of the light—was being answered.

            We are by no means experts in all of this, and that’s a relief. We still try to figure things out, create formulas, test the demographics and analyze the facts. And sometimes that is a good thing. Sometimes being task-driven really is a beneficial thing. But it is not the thing. At the end of the day, what we did won’t count for as much as who we were with other people.

            We live in a place that demands mental and physical concentration. We have to find answers and solutions. But we’re learning that tasks and location and planning are sideshows to a very real thing that is already going on. We are always being something. And people will respond to that. And how do we know this?

            Because we respond to it, too. 

-R & M